Thoughts and tips on navigating the murky waters of recruitment and executive job searching….
5 ways to give someone a good listening to
I was trained by an ex-hostage negotiator.
He taught me small actions elicit the most information.
Here are 5 things I learntโฆ
1๏ธโฃ ๐๐ถ๐๐๐ฒ๐ป, ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ปโ๐ ๐ฝ๐น๐ฎ๐ป
If youโre busy thinking about what youโre going to say next, itโs impossible to engage with whatโs being said. If you listen carefully, an obvious follow-up question will present itself.
2๏ธโฃ ๐จ๐ป๐ฐ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐๐ฎ๐ถ๐น ๐๐ต๐ฟ๐ผ๐๐ด๐ต ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฐ๐ผ๐๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ด๐ฒ๐บ๐ฒ๐ป๐
Use open body language, say things like โgo onโ, โtell me moreโ and โuh-huhโ, and use non-verbal clues like strong (but not overpowering) eye contact to encourage them to keep talking.
3๏ธโฃ Th๐ฒ ๐ฝ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐บ๐ถ๐ฟ๐ฟ๐ผ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ป๐ด
Select the most critical (or final) three words from the speakerโs last sentence, and repeat them back. It takes practice, but youโll trigger empathy and it can compel them to say more. When used well, this technique can be incredibly powerful.
4๏ธโฃ ๐จ๐๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐๐ถ๐๐ฒ ๐ฏ๐ผ๐ฑ๐ ๐น๐ฎ๐ป๐ด๐๐ฎ๐ด๐ฒ
Even on the phone, body language impacts your ability to listen. Itโs hard to imagine having a serious discussion while slouched on a sofa. So, adopt an active posture, whether youโre face to face or not.
5๏ธโฃ ๐ฆ๐๐บ๐บ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ถ๐๐ฒ, ๐ฏ๐๐ ๐ฎ๐๐ผ๐ถ๐ฑ ๐ท๐๐ฑ๐ด๐ฒ๐บ๐ฒ๐ป๐
Summarising proves youโve been listening and tests your understanding. But use gentle phrases like โI get the sense thatโฆโ to lead into your summary. โI think thatโฆโ imposes your agenda and opinion onto the conversation.
Finally, hereโs a challenge: next time you get in a taxi, ask the driver a question and see how much you can find out about them, while giving away as little as possible about yourself. Just remember to keep an eye on the meterโฆ